It started with a dusty shelf in a trash strewn cubicle

Office cubicles are generally kind of nasty. They’re usually dusty, often with scattered cobwebs, and the people that work in them pay little if any attention to them or their upkeep. While I was a cube ‘decorator’ type of person, I work with a lot of people who don’t care at all about the place they work. It’s a spot that serves a purpose, nothing more.

Cubicles tend to accumulate all manner of detritus.. awards, knickknacks, office party decorations, dishes from pot lucks.. it goes on. They’re equal parts workspace, garbage receptacle, and part office tech graveyard. You know those drawers in everyone’s kitchen that are stuffed full of shit that kind of doesn’t belong anywhere else? Cubicles are that at room-sized -scale.

One day I noticed a guy I worked with had turned his cubicle shelf into a graveyard for the many birthday cards he’d been given over the years….

I decided to try a little experiment

Marshmallow Peeps

A 100% legit recipe for everyone's least favorite confection. Make it stand out

Le Big Mac

The amazing dialogue from Pulp Fiction rendered in proper French. 

Butt I was inspired

I’m not really sure I can explain how these came to mind. Ideas struck me all the time butt often the card itself provided inspiration.

Barry Manilow is possibly the most underappreciated artist of our time.

I can think of no better way to highlight his talent than by featuring the lyrics to Copacabana, one of my favorite tunes.

I started running out of room so I began moving things around and stacking up older cards to make space. He never noticed.

The Gnoming

I started running low on cards but luckily it was my birthday so… instant recycle!

585 & two hours

It took 2 hours to peel and affix these eyes, that includes the two I added to the cover. They all jiggle in unison… creepy as hell!

A 70’s themed mini-museum for Saturday morning shows

Friends were nice enough to give me extra cards they had on hand but I started running out of ideas. A girlishly framed copy of my then social media profile pic.. Meh! Time to wrap it up!

Running low on ideas and cards

Wow! It’s time for a reveal!

This last one I saved for a meeting of my group. I walked in, handed him the card and watched him ready it while others in the meeting talked about work.

It started last spring, when I noticed with joy,

your desk needed sprucing, and I thought ‘Oh boy!’

Ya, I can fix this; I’ll make it right.

I’ll turn this drab desk into a shrine of delight.

And so I started, every once in a while,

new cards for your desk, in my own screwy style.

Happy fake birthday! and my congratulations,

Christmas in August, and faux graduations.

But I’m out of ideas and frankly my friend,

your desk is all full, so this prank must end.

So now please go, and discover this treasure

of nonsense and weirdness, baloney beyond measure.

And then you’ll know, I gotz da mad skillz,

cause when I prank, that prank fuking KILLS!